It always turns out this way. Always have, always will? *wrinkles nose*
Lord, tell me why i’m so puzzled even though i knew it was coming?
I feel disappointed and relieved at the same time.
Puzzling.
Minor fall, major lift. You’re all i need.
Archive for August, 2007
:: puzzled ::
:: oh priorities ::
Gonna be a lil jonah today. (inside joke)
Not that i want to, no choice wan. Woke up friggin’ early at 6am this morning despite sleeping at 2am doing this
People do weird things in the wee hours of the morning. Hahaha. I’m officially a genius though :D With the help of Jason and Sookie. Argh. The brain itch. You guys should try it. Can come find me if cannot find answer dy. Fun in a way. Tiringly annoying when you can’t get it sometimes. 15 men on a dead men’s chest…yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.
Don’t understand? Yeah, don’t have to.
Lots of things coming along my way. Sometimes i wonder, can ah can ah? In Jesus’ name, CAN :D
It was our yearly ladies conference for the past 2 days. BLOOM Conference 2007, themed “Contagious!” It was great :) Had a lot of fun. Lols. Became a total bimbo by going for a makeup/grooming workshop and *learning* that there are a million things to do before you put on make up. A million things you do *while* you put on make up. And a million things you *should* do when you take it off. *laughs* Is it any wonder why i never bothered?
I’ll learn. *consoles self*
It was even *more* fun in the other workshop. How to be a domestic goddess. All right man. The art of rolling and using measuring tapes. :D Oh. Not forgetting, learning about undergarment fittings :D Practical yes yes. And the girlies got roses too! :D On contrary to what Eunice’ thinks, i DO like flowers. Occasionally. I always thought they were unnecessary. But once in a while, they make nice surprises. *hint* Have always been a white lily than a rose fan though ;)
Hey. I’ve got a cool picture.
:: reunion 2007 pictures ::
My favourite shot with Addy dear. Admit it, i look good. (mostly cause i don’t look like me hehehe)Just wanted to post up some new pictures so that my blog doesn’t look so boring. Am wondering how to put up the flooble chatterbox? Macam mane ah? Kawans, boleh tolong tak? :D
Ellie, Adelin and Ian Zing.
A group pic of our table.
Me. Mwahahahaha. In an electric blue dress. Retro or what? :D (taken in Pan-Pac toilet, i love mirrors!)
:: flyaways ::
Yeah, thoughts are flying everywhere. Kinda fun. It’s like going on a joyride you don’t wanna stop. Unless it’s bad thoughts you’re having. But i’m not. So its fun! :D Been thinking of perfect days…*happy spasms*
Have been looking for this quote…
“Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?” – God, Evan Almighty
I likey. Makes sense no?
I have finance homework to do. Blehs. Guess the joyride has to end sometime. Lols. *skips off happily*
:: expecting ::
I don’t know exactly what i’m expecting. I just feel really excited. It’s fun being part of a team, championing a cause that’s greater than ourselves and just knowing that God will work with and through us. Yeah, feels good.
Oh wait, in a nutshell, i expect God to help in making all things work for every plan we’re going to carry out for both the conference and evening service. I expect you to reply my email and just tell me where we’re at exactly. You can’t deny that we’ve not spoken a word for 2 weeks now. I expect you to give me a break and just let me live my student life the way i want to live it. And that is, with no regrets. I expect you to not take me for granted. I expect you to call and say hello once in awhile, just to ask how i am. I expect acts of random kindness to be done by everyone. It’s the only way to change the world.
Am i expecting too much? *shrug*
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I’m tired, physically, but so terribly excited. Lols. Are you guys coming for Revolution Conference? You should. Our cause : Every student in Malaysia has the right to hear about the good news at least once. I wished someone would’ve told me about God sooner in my life. But then, He knows the whys, the whens and hows. And i guess, in more than one ways, i can’t ask for more than the life i’m already living now :)
Hey, did you guys know that The Simpsons movie is so…ooo stoopid? Funny, sure. But if i wasn’t already stoopid, i’m like, retarded now. Lols. IQ minus 10 points. Bah. Spider pig…spider pig…does whatever a spider pig does…. Help. Lols. I still love Bart (and his selfish idiosyncrasies) and Lisa (and her saxophone skills plus passion for causes greater than herself) tho. Doodles. *slaps forehead* Lols.
Craving for a java chip treat. I miss.
:: learning to choose ::
The choices we make determines the paths we take. Whether or not it’s aligned with God’s will, the choice doesn’t only lie with Him, but with us as well. Just got back from Leader’s Summit on Tuesday. It was really awesome :) I don’t have any pictures with me, but i certainly took a lot of memories and teachings back with me. I think every leader has something to share about what they caught from the leader’s summit. I have my own too :)
Most of mine was learning to deal with my own fears and inadequacies. Of knowing that it’s okay to go into something without knowing the basics. Without training. Despite doing it for months now, it still gets to me. And i guess i can safely say, that i’m *completely* over my inadequacies. Choosing to trust God to lead when the time comes :) I guess there’s nothing more that He wants besides wanting us to lean on Him for strength and wisdom. Not by might, or power but by His spirit, yes? :)
Another thing i had to deal with was on dealing with my family. Getting involved with the Evening Service and well, basically, being a part of a movement to reach out to EVERY student in Malaysia and share the good news, well, i’ve known since the beginning that it’s not just fun and games. It’s gonna take commitment, hard work and most of all, giving the best that i can give out of all that i have. Which means, everything lah. I had to deal with just how much was i willing to give. And not only that, i had this hypocritical side of me that said, “You can’t even save your family and you wanna save every student in Malaysia? Please-lah.” Like, ouch.
Yes, my inadequacies. Insecurities. What-nots. Whatever you call it.
It took a lot out of me (losing sleep, etc), just having personal debates within myself. What with my being *grounded*, i was so very tempted to just let go…and haha, backslide as a certain person been claiming i have. Been on a low profile not attending ACTStream and all, didn’t think anyone’d notice. Aaaaanyways, i’m rambling. The last worship session at leader’s summit kinda broke all these thoughts. And i literally, broke free from just wanting to hold back from doing what i knew was right to do, and just giving God all my insecurities. All you peoples who have something to say regarding what i’ve been doing, say-lah what you want.
I don’t really care anymore. God has placed something in my heart to build Him a great big house. And a great big house is what He’s gonna get. Or at least, i’ll do the best i can with the girls He’s entrusted me to build, and just run with that assurance. I’m a home-grown ACTS-ter and proud of it. Not even the devil can change that fact. And i’m going to reproduce. (not biologically, of course, not yet anyway :P )
Take my life, and all that i have to give
Take my world, just inhabit all of it
Take my dreams, make me assuredly Yours.
Lord, i’m gonna trust Your timing. And that means not knowing how or when You are going to do something. I surrender my family and current situation to You. You know. I can only wait. When i grow weary of waiting, or if i find myself disappointed or discouraged, i’m going to choose to trust You. I’m going to choose not to trust myself or be self-dependent. I’m going to choose to know that You will be faithful in every situation in my life, whatever they may be. Lord, i’m going to choose giving You all that i have to give.
I thank You for the leaders and wonderful friends You’ve placed in my life, supporting and encouraging me when i need it most. Sometimes, when they don’t even know they’re doing so. I know it’s You, Lord, constantly reminding me that i’m not alone. There are brothers and sisters suffering alongside with me. And i thank You, most of all, for Your amazing love. Always steady and unchanging, firm beneath my feet. Amen.
Thank you to you, you and you. Know that you’re appreciated. Even if i don’t say it to your face :)
