The human heart has hidden treasures, in secret kept, in silence sealed. The thought, the hopes, the dreams, the pleasures, whose charms were broken if revealed.
- quoted from “Definitely, Maybe” (2008)
Beautiful.
I thoroughly enjoyed this. There’s something about the playful banter between Will and April that i loved. I am aware now. “Head Over Feet” should’ve been in the soundtrack somewhere.
So sue me if i like corny ;)
It’s been an amazing weekend. I felt something different at SES today. I want more of what i felt there. I wish i could explain it. But really, you need to be there to understand.
I’ve got another confession to make
I’m your fool
Everyone’s got their chains to break
Holdin’ you
While having a ‘break’ (haha) at Malacca, i felt in my spirit that i’ve been compromising. Or not surrendering certain areas of my life fully. But while i was there, my eyes were opened to certain things that i could change. Actions i could take popped into mind.
My heart is under arrest again
But I break loose
My head is giving me life or death
But I can’t choose
I swear I’ll never give in
I refuse
While i stole a few moments to myself, enjoying the view at the porch of my chalet and just…being ‘quiet’, i finally came to a place where certain things that i’ve been ‘hoping’ for, doesn’t matter anymore.
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
First breakthrough for U-Turn? I guess :)
I’m good, knowing where i stand. And the standards i’d like to keep.
I’ve been wondering what this smells like.
CHANCE Eau Fraîche, the newest incarnation of the unexpected fragrance, now takes on a sparkling freshness. The unexpected floral bursts with a lightness and zest as notes of citrus, Water Hyacinth and Jasmine Absolute are highlighted and energized with woody notes of Amber of Patchouli and Fresh Vetiver.
And i conclude, it’s pretty nice :) Considering how it’s a spin off from the original Chance by Chanel, this one has a significantly lighter scent. Floral, but less musky. It’s a little stronger from what i usually wear (think Happy by Clinique), but after a while, it’s lovely. Chanel has always been the *up there* brand ever since i saw Nicole Kidman in Chanel’s No.5 advertisement. But i never thought wearing Chanel was possible (only because i have a less matured nose). Just sniff Coco Mademoiselle and you’ll prolly understand what i mean *wrinkles nose* :P No offense to its wearers though!
But this, this smells wayyyyy younger than the typical Chanel and it grows on you :) I imagine running around a garden just like the one in the movie “Just Like Heaven”, smelling like this. I like.
I’m gonna scout Lancome’s Miracle So Magic next! I smelt it off someone else and hmm…it’s worth a longer sniff, me thinks! :D
I had teh tarik during dinner at 7.25pm. And i’m still awake at 2.13am, despite retiring to bed at 1am. Whoever said that coffee keeps you awake for 6 hours max is a liar. *drily*
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Anyways, i decided to do a bit of reading. And i came across 1 Peter 3, which speaks about women and how they should carry themselves. Although its in the context of wives, let’s have a more general take on it.
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. (v3-5)
The words of a ‘gentle and quiet spirit’ jumps at me.
I feel like i’m nowhere near that. And that’s…kinda scary. Like, if this is what a ‘good Christian man’ is looking for…gawsh, i’m never going to get married like that lah. *laughs*
I’m far from gentle. I have a tendency to whack-smack people when they say something about or TO me ‘teasingly’. To those of you who’ve experience my “whack you with a flyer” moments, forgive me. Lol. And quiet, wow. I only get quiet sometimes. ‘Deep in thought’ moments, someone tells me. But most of the time, i’m an energizer bunny that…hardly remains quiet. So how DO you be a woman of ‘gentle and quiet spirit’? Hrm.
I decided to dwell a little bit further on how God describes gentle. And this led to none other than the ‘fruits of the Spirit’ verse (Galatians 5:22-23).
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. – NIV
But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely. – The Message
Gentleness = not needing to force our way in life.
And then i read…Matthew 5: 5.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. – NIV
You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought. - The Message
I think the world dictates how women behave nowadays albeit too harshly. We’ve lost the true meaning of being gentle. And quiet. It doesn’t mean…being a wimp. Or a doormat. Or dependent. But rather…being content with who we are. Not demanding, but submitting.
I see where we’ve gone wrong. I confess to having moments where i’d force myself to be on par with my ‘male counterparts’. Of wanting to prove myself to be JUST as capable, if not more. Yes yes, i had a dash of feminism thrown into my genetic make-up. And i do believe that girls/women CAN do more than well, look pretty.
But after reading all these verses, i feel that there’s really no point in comparing ourselves to men. And having to try on the pants when its perfectly fine to be in a skirt (even if i prefer the pants to the skirt, but that’s beside the point). We don’t have to force our way to succeed in life. Be content with who you are, and you’d be blessed. God’s secret right there for us girls! Now, isn’t that reason enough to celebrate? :)
God made us to be who we are for a reason. We’re called to be of a ‘gentle and quiet spirit’. And that is great worth in God’s sight. We shouldn’t be trying too hard to impress outwardly, but by just having the right attitude towards life and being CONTENT, that should be more than sufficient. And i suppose, in a general view, that should be more than enough to attract people.
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Oh wells, i suppose i have much to work on.*grins cheekily* I’ll work on being ‘content’ and i trust God will do the rest :)
Good things come to those who wait eh?
Walk by faith, not by sight. Just believe. Nothing is impossible. Just believe.
Broken again and again. It’s nice to know that only God knows what i need, when i need it :) The confirmation and reassurance that He hears my every prayer…ah, it’s like a burden lifted. I feel light-hearted :)
Word of the day :
But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. – Romans 8:25
Funny how it coincided with what pastor prayed over me. I’ve waited long. I’ve waited patiently. Somewhat. I want to see it in the natural. I.Want.It.
‘Okay’ is not enough. Here’s to the best U-Turn yet :)
Random note : So suffering to be fasting chocolates lah. I think i understand what it means to go cold turkey now. I do believe its worse than eating vegetables only. Susah tau. YES I CAN. *holds chin up defiantly*
I felt today moved really slowly. It was as if there was something i had to do…but i couldn’t put my finger on it. So i did nothing. Slept in after moping around late last night. Spent some time with the Actspressions team earlier. Entertaining, indeed. I love watching people arrange music/feel their way through a new song. It’s funnily inspiring :)
Some things i discovered about myself lately.
If an eagle gives you a feather, keep it safe. Remember: that giants sleep too soundly; that witches are often betrayed by their appetites; dragons have one soft spot, somewhere, always; hearts can be well hidden, and you betray them with your tongue.
- Neil Gaiman
There’s something i enjoy about his writing. It makes you think about what he’s thinking. And then it makes you think on how such simple words, can contain such profound thoughts. Just like another Book i know.
“Not by might, not by power, but by my Spirit,” says the Lord Almighty. – Zechariah 4:6
I tried.
And i think i made a fool out of myself. *bangs head on table repeatedly*
Fool for You, Lord? I can only pray so.
Here’s to thicker skin. As much as i care about what people thought on how tonight’s Home went, i will ignore all jibes and move on. It’s okay to cry in public.
It’s okay…it’s okay…it’s okay. Jesus wept. Too.
Cause all You are, is all i want, always. So draw me close, in Your arms. Oh God, i wanna be with You.
I wish you were here to hear my stories. To tell me what a silly i’ve been. Laugh at and with me. And then, remind me that we’ve all been sillies, one day or another.
Here’s a lil’ bit of what i learnt in school today. This subject is known as MGW1100 : Managerial Communication. Basically, the example below would show how punctuation can change the meaning of a sentence entirely.
I found this amusing because this totally showed gender differences. And this is how his students anwered,
Men : Woman, without her man, is nothing.
Women : Woman! Without her, man is nothing.
Now, wouldn’t you be amused too? :D
Its like, setting your alarm clock for 7am. And if you snoozed twice, you’re definitely gonna miss that 9am class.
It’s like, walking in the rain. And getting splashed by a car driving on a puddle. Has it ever occurred to the car driver that he owes an apology to that person walking in the rain? Even if he doesn’t know that person.
It’s like, waiting for someone to come online. And someone didn’t. And feeling upset as if someone did something wrong. But really, that someone did neither.
It’s like, driving all the way to KK and back at night. Not on my own purpose, and yet not feeling tired whatsoever, but perfectly content. Even if the day started at 6am.
It’s like saying ’some things are best left unsaid’. And having to blurt it out in other ways. But feeling totally okay cause it’s better left hanging outside than to let it bubble inside.
It’s like, blogging this post i don’t understand. But it was written in my head. And i thought i would care if it be posted. Private, public, password protected.
Now, it doesn’t even matter anymore. It’s funny, what goes on in my brain sometimes. I should play 20 Questions.
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Edited :
It’s like, not wishing, not hoping…but praying it through. And believing He holds my world in His hands. *imagines God holding this ellie-ball*
And knowing that even if the ball isn’t perfectly round, with bruises here and dents there…it’ll still be a pretty nice usable ball.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways”, declares the Lord. – Isaiah 55:8
Note to self : Everything is permissible for me, but not everything is beneficial.
It’s like how does your heart beat. Why do you breathe?
Why did you come here? You weren’t invited. And you’re on the outside. Stay on the outside. And now you want to ask me “Why?”
It’s like telling you i missed you. I said i wouldn’t but i did.
I failed, didn’t i? :) It’s funny. I never felt so guilty before. And at this precise moment, irregardless of the consequences and the hours i’d put into thinking it all through, i’m content. With feeling just the way i do.
Not wishing, not hoping, but prayed through. I’m content.
