:: Fragile Things ::

Yeah, i do believe i am. Despite the many things that are going on, the things i’d like to do, the things i have to fulfill and the things that are out of my control.

I think…i’m happy :)

I’m at a place where i KNOW the world is not perfect, people are bound to disappoint and things are not always going to work out the way i want it to, and i’m STILL…happy.

Maybe it’s because i know how much You love me :)

He’s jealous for me. And you.

For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory. – 2 Corinthians 4:17

I wait :) Tis’ only but a moment.

I had teh tarik during dinner at 7.25pm. And i’m still awake at 2.13am, despite retiring to bed at 1am. Whoever said that coffee keeps you awake for 6 hours max is a liar. *drily*

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Anyways, i decided to do a bit of reading. And i came across 1 Peter 3, which speaks about women and how they should carry themselves. Although its in the context of wives, let’s have a more general take on it.

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. (v3-5)

The words of a ‘gentle and quiet spirit’ jumps at me.

I feel like i’m nowhere near that. And that’s…kinda scary. Like, if this is what a ‘good Christian man’ is looking for…gawsh, i’m never going to get married like that lah. *laughs*

I’m far from gentle. I have a tendency to whack-smack people when they say something about or TO me ‘teasingly’. To those of you who’ve experience my “whack you with a flyer” moments, forgive me. Lol. And quiet, wow. I only get quiet sometimes. ‘Deep in thought’ moments, someone tells me. But most of the time, i’m an energizer bunny that…hardly remains quiet. So how DO you be a woman of ‘gentle and quiet spirit’? Hrm.

I decided to dwell a little bit further on how God describes gentle. And this led to none other than the ‘fruits of the Spirit’ verse (Galatians 5:22-23).

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. – NIV

But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely. – The Message

Gentleness = not needing to force our way in life.

And then i read…Matthew 5: 5.

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. – NIV

You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought. - The Message

I think the world dictates how women behave nowadays albeit too harshly. We’ve lost the true meaning of being gentle. And quiet. It doesn’t mean…being a wimp. Or a doormat. Or dependent. But rather…being content with who we are. Not demanding, but submitting.

I see where we’ve gone wrong. I confess to having moments where i’d force myself to be on par with my ‘male counterparts’. Of wanting to prove myself to be JUST as capable, if not more. Yes yes, i had a dash of feminism thrown into my genetic make-up. And i do believe that girls/women CAN do more than well, look pretty.

But after reading all these verses, i feel that there’s really no point in comparing ourselves to men. And having to try on the pants when its perfectly fine to be in a skirt (even if i prefer the pants to the skirt, but that’s beside the point). We don’t have to force our way to succeed in life. Be content with who you are, and you’d be blessed. God’s secret right there for us girls! Now, isn’t that reason enough to celebrate? :)

God made us to be who we are for a reason. We’re called to be of a ‘gentle and quiet spirit’. And that is great worth in God’s sight. We shouldn’t be trying too hard to impress outwardly, but by just having the right attitude towards life and being CONTENT, that should be more than sufficient. And i suppose, in a general view, that should be more than enough to attract people.

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Oh wells, i suppose i have much to work on.*grins cheekily* I’ll work on being ‘content’ and i trust God will do the rest :)

Good things come to those who wait eh?

It’s like how does your heart beat. Why do you breathe?

Why did you come here? You weren’t invited. And you’re on the outside. Stay on the outside. And now you want to ask me “Why?”

It’s like telling you i missed you. I said i wouldn’t but i did.

I failed, didn’t i? :) It’s funny. I never felt so guilty before. And at this precise moment, irregardless of the consequences and the hours i’d put into thinking it all through, i’m content. With feeling just the way i do.

Not wishing, not hoping, but prayed through. I’m content.