Song of the Day: Nothing But The Blood Of Jesus by Jesus Culture
Thought of the Day: Go, and sell what you have. (Matt 19) It’s time to surrender.
It’s exactly 2 months and a day. I can’t hold on to you anymore.
So, so what? I’m still a rockstar, I got my rock moves, and i don’t need you!
And guess what? I’m having more fun, and now that we’re done, i’m gonna show you…
I’m alright, i’m just fine, and you’re a fool…
Goodbye.
Song of the Day: Speak To Me Gently by Future of Forestry
Thought of the Day: I’m learning to be alone. To do many things i’ve done with you, for you. On my own.
Today was such a mad rush at work. All i wanted to do was tear away and drive into the sun.
When i got home, i could hear the sun call my name. It’s been awhile since i last dwelled in sunshiny goodness. I knew God kept the sun out for me :)
Sadness and rhyme, These are the times
These are the memories.
We find a way, Pushing through the day
So speak to me gently.
Can you just feel the time, Falling from some place new?
Can you just feel the sign, Love waits for you?
Love waits for you.
I’m searching the stars, In desperate hours
Bound to find meaning.
God show me a face, In this desolate place
And tenderness meets me.
Can you just feel the time, Falling from some place new?
Can you just feel the sign, Love waits for you?
Love waits for you.
Stories untold, Of redwoods grown old
Reside in the forest.
And there you can hear, A whispering tear
That speaks into our loneliness.
Can you just feel the time, Falling from some place new?
Can you just feel the sign, Love waits for you?
Love waits for you.
It’s been awhile. I find myself thinking about things i shouldn’t be thinking about at times when i know what it is i SHOULD be thinking about. Does that make sense?
Slow down, you crazy child
you’re so ambitious for a juvenile
But then if you’re so smart, tell me
Why are you still so afraid?Where’s the fire, what’s the hurry about?
You’d better cool it off before you burn it out
You’ve got so much to do and
Only so many hours in a dayBut you know that when the truth is told..
That you can get what you want or you get old
You’re gonna kick off before you even
Get halfway through
When will you realize, Vienna waits for you?Slow down, you’re doing fine
You can’t be everything you want to be
Before your time
Although it’s so romantic on the borderline tonight
Tonight,…
Too bad but it’s the life you lead
you’re so ahead of yourself that you forgot what you need
Though you can see when you’re wrong, you know
You can’t always see when you’re right. you’re rightYou’ve got your passion, you’ve got your pride
but don’t you know that only fools are satisfied?
Dream on, but don’t imagine they’ll all come true
When will you realize, Vienna waits for you?
I guess i’ll just have to get used to this eh?
Good things come to those who wait.
Mumble-jumble. I can’t put into words what i want to say yet.
******
Hebrews 4:12-13God means what he says. What he says goes. His powerful Word is sharp as a surgeon’s scalpel, cutting through everything, whether doubt or defense, laying us open to listen and obey. Nothing and no one is impervious to God’s Word. We can’t get away from it—no matter what.
1“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes[a] so that it will be even more fruitful. 3You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
1 Corinthians 10: 13No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come through it.
Ephesians 4:17-19And so I insist—and God backs me up on this—that there be no going along with the crowd, the empty-headed, mindless crowd. They’ve refused for so long to deal with God that they’ve lost touch not only with God but with reality itself. They can’t think straight anymore. Feeling no pain, they let themselves go in sexual obsession, addicted to every sort of perversion.
20-24But that’s no life for you. You learned Christ! My assumption is that you have paid careful attention to him, been well instructed in the truth precisely as we have it in Jesus. Since, then, we do not have the excuse of ignorance, everything—and I do mean everything—connected with that old way of life has to go. It’s rotten through and through. Get rid of it! And then take on an entirely new way of life—a God-fashioned life, a life renewed from the inside and working itself into your conduct as God accurately reproduces his character in you.
25What this adds up to, then, is this: no more lies, no more pretense. Tell your neighbor the truth. In Christ’s body we’re all connected to each other, after all. When you lie to others, you end up lying to yourself.
26-27Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don’t stay angry. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.
30Don’t grieve God. Don’t break his heart. His Holy Spirit, moving and breathing in you, is the most intimate part of your life, making you fit for himself. Don’t take such a gift for granted.
*****
I went to a memorial today. One of the two first memorials i’ve ever been to. I barely knew him. But i cried. For him, his family, his friends. I saw his videos and pictures, and i saw this bright life that could’ve done so much more. This only fueled my desire to see more young lives coming to know Christ. If someone as young as this person who led such a colourful life, surely i, who still have breath to live…can do so much more. Joash Wee, i may only have met you once or twice, but your memorial is certainly gonna be a memory inscribed always. Thanks for being an inspiration to all your friends. May you and your family rest in peace as we celebrate the life you’ve led.
*****
I don’t know what to do with you. I don’t want to get where you’ve been before with other people. Comfortable.
I won’t settle.
I spent this week trying to chart out my ‘up’ months and my ‘down’ months in 2009. For huddle purposes mostly. And while doing so, i realised how much i *have* grown. And also, how many times i’ve failed myself.
That kinda reminded me to not have such high standards on other people. I have this bad habit of being very self-righteous. I hope, not over-bearing, but i *can* be a bit hard on people. My retort : “If i can, so can they!” And i constantly have to remind myself that grace is a virtue. My response SHOULD be : “If Jesus did, so must i”.
Who am i imitating? I’ve received grace. Why can i not give it?
I’m learning. Not to judge. Not to be self-righteous. Not to be discriminatory when it comes to people who don’t believe in what i do. Not to hold a grudge when it comes to those whom i expect much from. To forgive and forget, when people disappoint. To know that other people are on THEIR journey of learning things also. I really am trying.
I went through my journal and some of the emails i sent to my mentor…(ranting ones) and i realised…i’m such a whiner. Lol. Really. I rant so much, i’m ashamed of myself. Perhaps i should just take ‘someone’s advice ‘to take a chill pill’. “Stop being OCD, Ellie. Live a little”.
Again i say, i’m trying.
We’re all on a journey. And i’m on mine now. Albeit challenging, but with God, all things are possible. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me? I try to live it as much as i can.
Just some updates on how work has been. It’s been tiring. Really. Sometimes, i feel like i’m working 2 jobs. 9-6pm at day job. After work hours is spent meeting people, or doing church work. I’m not complaining (at least, if i do, it’s cause i didn’t get much sleep the night before). My after hour ‘job’ keeps me sane. Gives me that sense of purpose i need to survive/overcome the 9-6pm job. Heh. Again i tell myself, God’s grace is sufficient for me. 4 hours of sleep a day is a norm now. I miss being a campus student.
I’ve got dreams. Plans. A place i’d like to be at. A hope i’d like to see come to pass. But, it’s not time yet. I know that.
My question is : what do i do in between?
14Do everything without complaining or arguing, 15so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe 16as you hold out[c] the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing. 17But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. 18So you too should be glad and rejoice with me. – Philipians 2 : 14-18
*****
Sometimes the easiest things are the hardest to say. And it’s not that i don’t want to.
I won’t be a stranger if you won’t.
I listened to the entire album as i got lost in The Curve area. Surprise surprise. I’m totally hopeless with directions. But it was worth it tho. Going all the way to The Curve, fulfilling a promise to Mia AND the AYA Choir (sorry for not being able to meet up and hang out!). But ‘songs from the jiwang kingdom’ was totally apt in moments of ‘lost direction’.
I must say, i love the album! It was heartfelt and of course, knowing how much effort and love was put into this, i thought this is Mia’s best yet. Jun’s bits of magic with the electric is AMAZING. Oh, and i just have to say this (and it’s a compliment), Mia AND her band last night are the best people to watch LIVE. I was just in awe.
The entire album is listen-worthy but my current favourite has to be ‘Percaya’. It’s beautiful. I imagine being on a field watching the sunset…with you. And this song would’ve played :) Another favourite is ‘The Tender Hour’. Okay fine. So maybe *i* feel jiwang right now. But i like ok. I wish i could write songs like she does. Mm.
Thank you, Mia, for sharing your beautiful voice with Malaysia. And soon, with the world ;) You inspire me, with your spirit and talent. Those who know their God will do GREAT exploits! My best wishes to you as you venture to Aussie-land! *hugs* It’s been an honor to know and learn from you! Much love.
Mia and i and her spotlight cap :D *laughs*
I’m believing for a life-changing night at AYA Awards tomorrow! Its so inspiring to hear all the stories of the finalists…what makes them tick and how THEY would continue to inspire others. AYA Awards is just a stepping stone in allowing them to tell their stories, encourage and inspire others who aspire to get their own breakthroughs. I see seeds being sown. Lord, Your will be done even right now as preparations are *still* being made ;)
Mich and i will be heading the Finalist Attendants team and i’m personally looking forward to meeting each and every one of them! Amazing people. Some of whom i’ve met a few years back…it’s amazing how our paths would cross again :) This time through an avenue i believe whole-heartedly in.
I’m excited! :)
I start work in my new job officially on Monday. Another exciting journey and chapter ahead :) Am believing for my own story!
Just some short updates on what i’m doing lately :
#1. I got a job :) Praise God! Will be undertaking a role as a research analyst in D&B, a financial services company. Am excited, pray with me that this is yet another opportunity to serve with a purpose and shine for Him! And also, to be the best i can be wherever i’m placed.
#2. I got a new toy. Well, not-so-new. Hahaha. My dad didn’t find the Nokia E71 suitable for him and SO, got himself a new phone and passed it down to me! Ah, it’s not an iPhone 3Gs, but it IS a 3G phone. Would be awesomely useful to keep in touch with churchy stuff thru emails if i’m blocked at my new job :D And i can tweet too. Whee.
#3. I’ll be heading down to Acts Singapore this weekend with the worship team!! Woots. Been waiting for MONTHS. It’ll be lovely to finally visit our ‘family’. So excite lah.
Ah, life is definitely good at this point ;)
On another note, i’m totally smitten by a friend’s darling son, Isaiah V. He’s SO adorable. I stole his picture (ie. didn’t ask for permission to post it up). But i just couldn’t resist!!! Tee-hee. He looks like he knows everything.
Bet he cheered YOU up :)
Hmm. I think it’d be really nice, to marry someone with dimples :)
I’ve been roaming around, I was looking down at all i see…
You know that i can use somebody.
Someone like You? :)
I threw my trash in a bin at Peacehaven. It is gone.
***
Painted faces fill the places i can’t reach…
So many campus students are out there hurting. Genuine, eating-’em-up-inside hurt. What AM i doing with my life?
How do i make it better? What else can i do? Intention with focus.
***
Waging wars to shake the poet and the beat…
I hope it’s gonna make you notice…
…someone like me.
I am home. Fond memories indeed.
And i have graduated.
Looking for a job, i am.
*************************************************************************
I feel strangely overwhelmed.
