It’s been tiring. Work. And all that. Really takes some getting used to, this new life. *laughs to self* I find myself having to be disciplined, more than before. Lead me where i’m not keen to go?

Paint me royal blue and hues of gold, pull me closer, no one will know. Play with my hair till my smile glows. Its the tender hour. Its moments like these when i’m amused. Its moments like these when i’m confused. Don’t know which emotion to explore, i just know i’m needing something more. – The Tender Hour, Mia Palencia

I can’t keep pretending that *maybe* one day, something will happen.

Look at the feelings i sweep under the rug.

And that moment of longing will pass. You’re a morsel. A pretty distraction. I wish for you to go away and i wished you stayed.

I listened to the entire album as i got lost in The Curve area. Surprise surprise. I’m totally hopeless with directions. But it was worth it tho. Going all the way to The Curve, fulfilling a promise to Mia AND the AYA Choir (sorry for not being able to meet up and hang out!). But ’songs from the jiwang kingdom’ was totally apt in moments of ‘lost direction’.

I must say, i love the album! It was heartfelt and of course, knowing how much effort and love was put into this, i thought this is Mia’s best yet. Jun’s bits of magic with the electric is AMAZING. Oh, and i just have to say this (and it’s a compliment), Mia AND her band last night are the best people to watch LIVE. I was just in awe.

The entire album is listen-worthy but my current favourite has to be ‘Percaya’. It’s beautiful. I imagine being on a field watching the sunset…with you. And this song would’ve played :) Another favourite is ‘The Tender Hour’. Okay fine. So maybe *i* feel jiwang right now. But i like ok. I wish i could write songs like she does. Mm.

Thank you, Mia, for sharing your beautiful voice with Malaysia. And soon, with the world ;) You inspire me, with your spirit and talent. Those who know their God will do GREAT exploits! My best wishes to you as you venture to Aussie-land! *hugs* It’s been an honor to know and learn from you! Much love.

Mia and i and her spotlight cap :D *laughs*

I’m believing for a life-changing night at AYA Awards tomorrow! Its so inspiring to hear all the stories of the finalists…what makes them tick and how THEY would continue to inspire others. AYA Awards is just a stepping stone in allowing them to tell their stories, encourage and inspire others who aspire to get their own breakthroughs. I see seeds being sown. Lord, Your will be done even right now as preparations are *still* being made ;)

Mich and i will be heading the Finalist Attendants team and i’m personally looking forward to meeting each and every one of them! Amazing people. Some of whom i’ve met a few years back…it’s amazing how our paths would cross again :) This time through an avenue i believe whole-heartedly in.

I’m excited! :)

I start work in my new job officially on Monday. Another exciting journey and chapter ahead :) Am believing for my own story!

I’m not listening. Lalalalallalaa.

I will not be affected. I had FUN. And let’s just leave it at that, shall we?

*thinks of jellybean-powered cars*

C’mon, Ellie. It’s not worth it.

It’s raining really heavily. Homes outing is in less than 2 hours.

Was my last day at work. And i left early cause there was nothing much left for me to do.

Another door opened. I’m confused now. I *could* wish it was easier for me to choose, but that wouldn’t be exercising faith now would it? Another interview this coming Monday @ 2.30pm. We’ll see how it goes.

It don’t do me any good, it’s just a waste of time
What use is it to you, what’s on my mind?
If it ain’t comin’ out, we’re not going anywhere
So why can’t I just tell you that I care?

Because i can’t. It won’t do me any good.

I’m hanging on to Your Word. Better than any lyrics from a song.

*****

“Clear lots of ground for your tents!
Make your tents large. Spread out! Think big!
Use plenty of rope,
drive the tent pegs deep.
You’re going to need lots of elbow room
for your growing family.
You’re going to take over whole nations;
you’re going to resettle abandoned cities.
Don’t be afraid—you’re not going to be embarrassed.
Don’t hold back—you’re not going to come up short.”

-Isaiah 54 : 1-6-The Message-

Just some short updates on what i’m doing lately :

#1. I got a job :) Praise God! Will be undertaking a role as a research analyst in D&B, a financial services company. Am excited, pray with me that this is yet another opportunity to serve with a purpose and shine for Him! And also, to be the best i can be wherever i’m placed.

#2. I got a new toy. Well, not-so-new. Hahaha. My dad didn’t find the Nokia E71 suitable for him and SO, got himself a new phone and passed it down to me! Ah, it’s not an iPhone 3Gs, but it IS a 3G phone. Would be awesomely useful to keep in touch with churchy stuff thru emails if i’m blocked at my new job :D And i can tweet too. Whee.

#3. I’ll be heading down to Acts Singapore this weekend with the worship team!! Woots. Been waiting for MONTHS. It’ll be lovely to finally visit our ‘family’. So excite lah.

Ah, life is definitely good at this point ;)

On another note, i’m totally smitten by a friend’s darling son, Isaiah V. He’s SO adorable. I stole his picture (ie. didn’t ask for permission to post it up). But i just couldn’t resist!!! Tee-hee. He looks like he knows everything.

Bet he cheered YOU up :)

Hmm. I think it’d be really nice, to marry someone with dimples :)

That’s the word i keep hearing lately. God, You capture me with grace even as i am being led into this new phase of my life.

You are the source of life, I can’t be left behind. No one else will do, i will take hold of You… – Rescue by Desperation Band

I’m fearful and excited at the same time. Fearful, that i might not live up to my own expectations of how a young working adult should lead her life. Fearful that i might not be an influencer but instead, be influenced. Fearful that i’m just not…’good enough’.

But God, Your ways are higher than mine. Your thoughts are higher than mine. I shall not limit You by what *i* think. I will not limit your blessings over my life. I trust that You opened this door for a purpose that i do not know yet. I have no other options to compare this one to…and my dateline is Monday. And so, i’m gonna trust that this is what You have in mind for me at this point in time.

The Lord is my shepherd, i shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside still waters., he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. Even though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i will fear no evil. For You are with me, Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me, in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life, and i will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. – Psalm 23

I can’t help but wonder though.

It may not be the way i would’ve chosen, when You lead me through a world that’s not my home. But You never said it would be easy…You only said i’d never go alone. – Ginny Owens ‘If You Want Me To’

Here i am, Lord :) I’m responding. Your kingdom come, Your will be done in my life.

6.30am mornings. *cheers* There but for the grace of God, go I.

There are just times where you observe what’s happening around you. And you just get so upset. Angry. Frustrated. God, You work in this situations of which i’ve no control over.

So hard to fathom the pain in Your eyes
As You’re watching Your children, doing what You despise
In pursuit of our own
We just go round and round
Another nail to our cause
We continue to pound
What are you, man, if you do not learn love
What are you, man, if you do not learn love
So hard to fathom, oh, the feelings inside
As You’re watching Your people choosing to die
You called out a warning
To all that would hear
Saying come to Me, come to Me
And I will draw near
Learn love
I must
Learn love
Learn love
Learn love
Learn love
Learn love.

-Simply Nothing-Shawn McDonald-

God, help me learn love. It seems i don’t have enough to give. And there’s, this whole thing about waiting.

I need to learn that too.

…and my heart burns…

…it burns for You.

On the rare moments such as these…i revel in being alive.

I close my eyes and this is what i feel : contented. happy. satisfied. And while it lasts, i revel in feeling this way. I wanna be obsessed with You. There’s a madness in my being.

Fill every thought, every dream. Fill me. Keep me burning with the fire of Your love. Surround me. Refine me. I burn.

Watched ‘500 Days Of Summer’ after all the hype by BenJi.

I quite enjoyed the movie. I say quite…only because i didn’t quite like the girl. She can’t possibly be representing half of the world human species. I’d be greatly insulted. One does not seduce a man…do everything possible (before marriage), create beautiful memories with a man she KNOWS feels more for her than she does for him….and then says, “You’re still my best friend”.

Dudeeeee, that’s wrong. And terribly misleading. I feel for you guys, should you have…similar experiences. Encouragement : God is into second chances :) And, these sorta girls are…exceptions. Not the general rule, i hope.

But the movie was beautiful. I enjoyed how they shot it, moving backwards and forwards. Sorta reminds me of the way we think sometimes when it comes to relationships, doesn’t it? You think about the future when you’re with ‘em. And then, you think about the past when it’s over. Non-linear thinking, indeed.

Despite it being that way, it was easy to understand. Loved the black and white bits. The ‘expectations’ and ‘reality’ bit. The random musical dance bit.

And of course, Zooey Deschanel’s clothes are AWESOME. I’m totally into collared dresses with sash now. Oh, so vintage. I’m gonna go get one. Whee :D Oh, and the soundtrack’s pretty awesome too. The Smiths, Hall & Oates and Temper Trap? Yeah, baby. And the fact that they had ‘Please, please, let me get what i want’ playing (previously played in ‘Never Been Kissed’ prom king & queen dance moment)…that got me.

I love soundtracks. So sue me.

So yes, i *quite* liked the movie. It’s prolly up your street too :)

***********************************************************************

On a random note, I’m totally into Colbie Caillat’s “Begin Again”. Such a happy song. Okay, so the lyrics are not too happy. But, the happy tune! It sticks in your head. The contrast makes it interesting. Not so happy lyrics + happy tune = happy ME!

Oh this is not the way that it should end
It’s the way it should begin
It’s the way it should begin, again
No – I never wanna fall apart
Never wanna break your heart
Never wanna let you break my own
Yes – I now we said a lot of things
That we probably didn’t mean
But it’s not to late to take them back
So before you say you gonna go
I should probably let you know
I never knew what I had
I never knew what I had.

Yes, i’m kinda weird that way.