:: i wait ::

September 17, 2009 at 1:38 am · Filed under On Books, On Job-Hunts, On Love, On Movies

I sometimes wonder if this readiness, this expectation, prevents the miracle from happening. But i have no choice. He is coming, and I am here. – Clare Abshire, The Time Traveler’s Wife

I wonder too.

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I get too caught up in books, sometimes. C’mon, Ellie, back to the real world.

Got lost on the way to KL today, was late 5 minutes for my interview because i got lost *in* Central Plaza too…it wasn’t the best of days, i admit. But yet will i praise Thee. Who am i..who am i…who am i…

…that i should wait for Thy best. I don’t want to search. I want to be found.

One day i’ll say, ‘…i waited for you, and now you’re here.’

I’m hopeful. Still.

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:: let there be light ::

September 15, 2009 at 1:21 am · Filed under On Personal Stuff

I’m at a place where i really don’t know what i want.

I don’t know what to apply for…i can’t even tell you what i’d *like* to do for a living. It’s scary…everything’s gonna be so new. I can’t fall back into the routine i know. But i knew growing up had to be done…sometime.

Do the things that you always wanted to, without me there to hold you back, don’t think… just do. – You Could Be Happy, Snow Patrol

I just wish it wasn’t so soon. I gave myself till October (which is looming near). And i have nothing. Yet.

Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep…

I dream.

…and the Spirit God was hovering over the waters. – Genesis 1:2

Ah, hover over me, Lord. Show me. Teach me to wait. Let me see the light that’s good.

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I’m envious. I see her, and i wish i could be that way. Less self-conscious. Less guarded. Less…me.

I haven’t been comfortable in my own skin lately.

I’m hopeful. Still.

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:: home ::

September 8, 2009 at 12:40 pm · Filed under On Life, On Memories

I am home. Fond memories indeed.

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And i have graduated.

Ellie_Graduation

Looking for a job, i am.

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I feel strangely overwhelmed.

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:: greetings from melbourne ::

August 30, 2009 at 10:08 pm · Filed under On Everything Else, On Memories

Just a short update on what i’ve been up to :

#1. I’m really enjoying myself here.

#2. I’ve been eating non-stop. Sudah bulat giler :S

#3. The weather here has been erratic. Sun-shiny and rainy within hours. The clouds here move so fast.

#4. Melbourne is a chocolate and coffee haven. Seriously. They drink chocolate here. Not eat it. AND, i drank more coffee in this 5 days than i have in 6 months. Elder and Jason will be so proud of me :D

#5.  I’m *still* getting used to the transportation system here. I’ve been going the same route everyday…you’d think i know the streets well by now. Oh well.

#6. Penguins are smaller than i thought they would be. Happy (from Happy Feet) are of a different breed. :D Melbourne ones are short and they make quacking noises.

#7. I *love* the wide open spaces on the way to Mt Dandenong & Philip Island. And i saw sheep :D

#8. I had craving for Chinese food today. Had charsiew and RICE. *beams*

#9. Went for 3 services today. 1 in Bridge Church in Richmond and 2 in Planetshakers. I know, old habits die hard? Heh. Quite enjoyed myself. Observed different things and thought…church is never gonna be perfect. No matter how famous. Also felt awkward in being a guest and having to stand up as a newcomer. Heh. Was praying so hard for services back home! Was glad to receive updates. Thank you :)

#10. I miss Malaysia. Some places are awesome to visit. But nothing beats home :)

Happy Merdeka, everyone :)

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:: leaving on a jetplane ::

August 24, 2009 at 1:22 am · Filed under On Everything Else

It’s 1.15am on a Monday morning. Am gonna leave for Melbourne today for 10 days of fun galore! I can’t wait. So many things i wanna do. So many things i wanna see. So many people i’d love to catch up with. Wait for me :)

I’m looking forward to spending time with You :) I’ve this funny feeling that i’ve been looking in the wrong places. I pray that this 10 day ’sabbatical’ will bring some confirmations i’m seeking :)

Oh, and i’m not done packing yet. Heh. Not like there’s much to bring. I’m just..afraid of the cold. Lol.

You guys be good :)

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:: the littlest things ::

August 19, 2009 at 12:19 am · Filed under On Life, On Movies

The littlest things made me smile today.

  1. The warm, bright sun.
  2. The no-traffic-jam on the way to work.
  3. Work ending early cause there was no electricity.
  4. Mom making spaghetti for dinner.
  5. Proof-reading CampusREVO mails.
  6. Finding out that Carl Frederiksen’s wife (the grouchy old man of Pixar’s ‘Up’) is named Ellie.
  7. Discussing about where to go in Melbourne with Elder KY and Ee Lin.
  8. Thinking about all the chocolate i can have there :)
  9. Long-awaited time off :)

It’s gonna be You and me, Lord :)

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Review of District 9  from a 9-year-old boy :

Me : So how was the movie? What is it about?

Bulat : Oh. About aliens wan. So there’s this man…his name is something lah. He went to this place, District 9 got aliens…and got code name for them wan. They’re called Prawns. Cause they look like Prawns. Then right, he found some special formula that can turn him into alien wan. He accidentally squirted it on himself. Then he also turn into an alien, you know. Then this other man say he’ll come to save the man after 3 years. And then, the man who kena squirted became fully alien.

Me : Uh. *thoroughly confused* Okayyyyy. So…nice anot? So what’s the ending?

Bulat : Like that lah. Sure got District 10 wan.

Me : =.=”

My brother amuses me. A lot. He’d be #10 :)

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:: aloof ::

August 17, 2009 at 12:37 am · Filed under On Everything Else

I broke today. The crack that was made months ago finally gave way. God had to piece me together just so that i could look somewhat sane till after 4pm service.

God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day. – Psalm 46:5

Sometimes, i really don’t know why i bother. Managing expectations and a thorough heart-check is high on the to-do list.

Pastor shared in Bloom that girls think with their hearts. When they should really be thinking with their minds. God forbid it should be merged into one.

My brain seems pretty elusive in this matter. Have i become shallow? I hope not. I’d hate to disappoint you. Rather…i’d hate to be just like everyone else.

What else can i say? It’s not you…it’s me?

Crazy week. Here’s to staying alive. And aloof. I’m looking forward to tomorrow.

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:: oh doof ::

August 14, 2009 at 1:33 am · Filed under On Personal Stuff, On Wants

Me and my big mouth. I should really watch what i say…and what i don’t.

Here’s to working on all that needs ‘working on’.

God, i don’t want to have lizards in my life. Get rid of them please? In Jesus’ name, amen.

On a random note, i want a Doof :) Hit me, babay. Someone’s birthday is coming soon. Tralalalalala.

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:: if i could sing ::

August 10, 2009 at 11:44 pm · Filed under On Dreams

…a song for a performance, i’d do Gravity by Sara Barailles.

Set me free, leave me be. I don’t wanna fall another moment into your gravity. Here i am and i stand so tall, just the way i’m supposed to be. But you’re on to me…and all over me.

Or at least, i think i’d be totally mesmerised if i saw Sara Barailles sing this song live. So beautiful.

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:: You’re all i need ::

August 8, 2009 at 1:02 am · Filed under On Everything Else

You’re so amazing.

Record-breaking Homes. Wow.

New people inviting more people. Wow.

One of my girls came Home to Malaysia when i least expected the news. Wow.

Experiencing unnecessary ‘fuss’ but knowing that God, You come through for me time and time again. WOW.

This is my heart’s cry. I don’t need anyone or anything else. Just…You.

*release*

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