Talking about my journey with someone reminded me of this. Thought i’d put it up for keepsake. Even if the writing is so very young.
Who is me, i wonder?
I used to be that girl you see who’s self-esteem was so low, she looked to her friends so often that she was dependent on them for confidence. I was that short and fat be-spectacled girl, who never got the same attention as the other girls in school. I was that girl, who tried her best in school, but was always being compared to the smarter ones. The girl who sat in the middle, cause being in front meant she had to answer questions and she didn’t have the guts to, and being in the back, meant she couldn’t see the blackboard. Lols.
I was that girl who couldn’t decide on what she wanted. I was that girl who was always uncertain, and fearful of things she couldn’t understand. I was that girl who fell in love only to have those feelings unreturned. That girl whose heart you broke because she wasn’t the one you wanted her to be. I was that girl who pretended she knew what she wanted in life, how to get it, and where she’d be ten years from now. But in reality, one who floated in the air, going wherever the wind took her.
But i’m not that girl anymore. Or at least, i try not to be.
I’m not lost or uncertain. Cause i’ve found myself in Him that made me. I may not know where i’d be ten years from now, but i know that i’m made the way He has thought me to be and He’s written my story even before i was born. I am someone in Christ. And having that precious thought with me, i walked with it. I run. And one day, i shall fly.
I’m just like you in many ways :) I still have two eyes, two ears, one nose and mouth. I am, however, new in Christ. He changes me to be more like Him every single day. And i humble myself before Him knowing that i need those changes.
Why, you say?
Because we need to change at some point. The world needs changes and i’d like to see them. What better way to start than to change myself first :) *plays Michael Jackson’s “Man In The Mirror”* I need to be just a lil’ bit different that i may change those around me.
And everything that’s new has bravely surfaced
Teaching us to breathe
And what was frozen through is newly purposed
Turning all things green
So it is with You, and how You make me new
With every season’s change
And so it will be as You are recreating me
Summer autumn winter spring.