Rainy seasons. It’s an excuse to stay in, all wrapped up with a hot cup of Milo…to think. I’ve been thinking of the years to come, the plans i have…the talks i have with God…and it all boils down to…”trust Me, and I’ll take you there.” That’s right. He’ll take me there. Not me. And my own selfish dreams.
…i was reminded a few days ago on how i’m the youngest in C72 leadership. It hit me like a rock for some reason. Feeling inadequate comes so easily…sometimes i wish i could be proud of how much i’ve grown these 3 years. And it’s not that i’m not capable. Rather, its the lack of belief that i can. Paul said to Timothy, “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.” – 1 Tim 4:12. I’m really trying i guess, and apart from anything else, i guess i have to learn that i draw affirmation from God, not from men.
…sometimes its so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s like, we can try every method, every way, and yet…it won’t be enough to see the results you THOUGHT you wanted. Surrendering is all that i could do. Surrendering is what i wish you could bring yourself to do. Not by might, not by strength. But by His spirit. I like how Hebrews 11:40 says, “God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.”
It’s my caution, not the cold
There’s no other hand, that i would rather hold
The climate changes, i’m singing for the strangers about you
Don’t keep time, slow the pace
Honey, hold on if you can
The bets are getting surer now, that you’re my man.
-Love Is Waiting-Brooke Fraser-
I imagine Anne of Green Gables probably never thought over the years of her friendship with him that she’d ever marry Gilbert Blythe. I don’t think she’d be gladder if she knew she was going to, either. So i’ve conceded that surprise is a good element when it comes to these matters. I’ve heard of so many wedding stories…*love* stories that could make any heart melt…to know that God has the upper hand in everyting and i also like how its written, “True, God made everything beautiful in itself and in its time—but he’s left us in the dark, so we can never know what God is up to, whether he’s coming or going. I’ve decided that there’s nothing better to do than go ahead and have a good time and get the most we can out of life.'”
I’m contented. I’m gonna make the most of these *happy* thoughts while i can. Coco lava is a very happy-fying thing too ;)