I was a posed a very hard question recently. And it surprised me that i was even asked that question, somewhat. *shrug* But here be the question : Have you ever thought of backsliding, ever since you became a Christian?
Considering how i only accepted Christ on Good Friday 2005, i’ve had 3 years to grow from where i was to where i am…and to me, that’s not very long. In fact, it flew by. And my answer was an obvious no. I hope i didn’t offend the person who asked the question, considering that it WAS a valid question. One out of curiosity, above all. Most new believers fade in and out, but praise God, i managed to hold on. Have never regretted, hopefully never will :)
Backsliding has just never occured to me, i guess. Pastor Kenneth spoke his very first message of the year on “just believing”. Of coming back to a place where believing is a choice, not a feeling. Sometimes work, school, ministry, family, friends and “other” reasons can divert our attention away from God, and that leads to stress. We’ve forgotten why we do what we do and to whom we do it unto.
Child-like faith. That’s all He asks. I hope in our journey of life, and our quest for answers, we let our HEARTS lead instead of our MINDS. Just like a child, they go by trust and faith. Not by what they know in their heads.
Throughout the years of being a faithfully serving Christian (for some), tiredness is inevitable. But, sometimes we forget that the rest we need is IN God, not FROM God. That was a good reminder for me. But the “stress” from not believing enough has not caused me to believe that God is not there. I just have to keep reminding myself that there’s no two-ways about it. It’s either you’re a Christian or you’re not. It’s “all the way” and not “halfway”.
Which brings me back to…believing IS a choice. And a very conscious one at that. If i were to backslide, i would’ve CHOSEN to. But i choose to believe…and thus, i immerse myself in all things that i know would hold me closer to Him. I try not to be idle. I do not put myself into positions or situations where i’d be co-erced or even tempted, to do something i don’t want to. I believe that if i honor Him, He’d honor me back.
The rewards may be slower in materialising, but i believe it’s worth it. And i refuse to compromise God’s best to settle for the here and now.
It’s 2009. Some of us may have already started the year with the wrong mindset. But hey, if this post happens to speak to you…i’d just like to say that the man whose son was possessed by an evil spirit in Mark 9 asked Jesus to “help him with his unbelief”.
I urge you to believe again. It’s never too late to turn your heart to someone who never stopped believing in you.