:: better than before ::

Been sick today, thanks to slight fever and extremely painful cramps. I’d like to believe God just want me to rest and spend time with Him. So that i did today. Nothing beats spending time with God and hearing from Him. It’s nice to know you’re loved. Even if you’ve done really “bad” things. I had to be reminded that spending the whole day in church is NOT an excuse to NOT spend personal time with Him.

17-18Have some of you noticed that we are not yet perfect? (No great surprise, right?) And are you ready to make the accusation that since people like me, who go through Christ in order to get things right with God, aren’t perfectly virtuous, Christ must therefore be an accessory to sin? The accusation is frivolous. If I was “trying to be good,” I would be rebuilding the same old barn that I tore down. I would be acting as a charlatan.

19-21What actually took place is this: I tried keeping rules and working my head off to please God, and it didn’t work. So I quit being a “law man” so that I could be God’s man. Christ’s life showed me how, and enabled me to do it. I identified myself completely with him. Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not “mine,” but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I am not going to go back on that.

Is it not clear to you that to go back to that old rule-keeping, peer-pleasing religion would be an abandonment of everything personal and free in my relationship with God? I refuse to do that, to repudiate God’s grace. If a living relationship with God could come by rule-keeping, then Christ died unnecessarily.

– Galatians 2:19-21 –

How can i live as if Christ didn’t die for me?

Maybe if you understood that Christ died for YOU too, then you would understand why i do what i do. Why i’m always ‘busy’. But i’m not busy for busy sake. I really believe in what i do. In what i’m sowing into. I know where my time and money goes. I know.

And i may complain i can’t buy ’em “pretty green shoesies”. But i don’t regret the decisions i’ve made. The cause i’ve given my life to. And i believe all that i NEED and WANT will come. I’m putting my treasure where my heart is. So forgive me, when i say, no, i don’t think the life you lead is meant for me.

Waiting for Your timing, Lord :) I’m ready.


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