Been walking in a different kind of…step lately. Now that a major ‘project’ called TTMM is over, i have this strange feeling that it’s not all over yet. Heh.
Been thinking about life and all that. Dwelling on what might’ve been and what could’ve been. And i realised, i wouldn’t be this person that i am now.
Stronger. Bolder. Yet vulnerable.
Yes. Be better, not bitter.
Funny how things i’m telling the girls i’m mentoring are EXACTLY the things that *i* needed to hear for myself :)
I wondered, could i take it if i were to see you traipsing around with someone else. I wondered, where did all this insufferable people come from, having no business to tell me if i knew or asking if you were with so-and-so. And the cheek to ask me how i felt about it. Well, if you must know, it feels like crap. Duh. If i knew why we happened and we ended, perhaps i’d be a little more forgiving. But i don’t. I’ve just had to move on. Find my own way to this place that took more than a year to get to. And now that i’ve reached…occasionally, i toy with the idea of jumping all the way back down. It was never about who was right or wrong. It was a matter of whether you cared. Whether i mattered. More importantly, whether *we* mattered that you would want to take the next step. It didn’t matter that you were the way you were and i was willing to accept that. But it ended up being that i was the way i am, and you couldn’t.
Love isn’t about ‘just feelings’. It’s the commitment of sticking through things. Because you had that feeling.
Thanking God that He is beautiful. And that He makes things beautiful in His perfect timing.
Yep. I’m ok being where i am.