:: bring on the lemon parade ::

I’ve been rather hooked on Tonic’s ‘Lemon Parade’ album. Just brings back so many memories of being young…and carefree. I loooooooove the nineties.

I wish I’d seen you as a little girl
Without your armor to fend off the world
I would have kept you underneath my wing
I would protect you from everything
Make way for the lemon parade
Make way for my girl
Make way for the lemon parade
Make way for my girl
Did the boys all tease you when they had the chance
Always left standing when it came time to dance
Did you hide behind your books girl
Did you find your secret friends
Always I’ll want you
Always ’till the end
Make way for the lemon parade
Make way for my girl
Make way for the lemon parade
Make way for my girl

It’s been awhile since i wrote something but life’s been moving along. A little too fast for my liking. But i thank God that this life is to be lived anyway. I’m thankful and glad.

Revelation of the day:
Been pondering about something Elder PH mentioned at service yesterday. Those stories where Jesus did miracles in the book of Mark for example? He always told the person he redeemed/ healed/ rescued…to not tell anyone about what He had done. It’s because Jesus wanted people to know Him. Not what He can do. Without prior knowledge to what we can receive from Him, He offers us the privilege to know who He IS, and who WE are in Him. We can only pray the will of God when we know who He is through His word. Totally. Blown. Away.

The revelation i caught? Jesus prolly didn’t want people to know what He had done for the others because then there’s this expectation of what He can do or has done before. Talk about managing expectations if Jesus decided to heal you differently. Or took His time about it. Or deciding not to at all. I’d like to believe Jesus liked giving surprises. Like turning water into wine. No one likes reading the ending of a story before going through the entire book. We humans constantly ruin it for ourselves. Our part is to pray. Our story is the journey through those praying times. Time and time again, Jesus just proves that it’ll be worth it. If only we would wait.

Definitely upping in prayer. Amazing how when we decide to do something, like praying more, encouragements come in oh, so many forms :) I’m waiting.

*****

Hello you. I’d like to get to know you. Would you spend some time to do the same? :)

Can’t wait to dive this weekend. I’m in need of some me-time. Maybe then this curiosity will loosen its hold. Distraction after all, is the best way to turn something off. I’m going to try distracting myself by praying :)

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:: say something ::

It may have been a small piece of news. Most people prolly think i shouldn’t even care. And it’s not like you told me personally. And i AM a little miffed by how i had to find out.

But, i am sorry for your loss anyhow. I share your loss because once upon a time, i cared. I care.

Do you hear me? I CARE.

It’s been one year, eight months and 17 days. I’m OK on most days…and like this, on others.

“Say something. I’m giving up on you.” Sigh.

 

 

:: rooted ::

Stirred in my heart. Reading the newspapers these days, and i’m just…aghast. This song has reminded me…i have roots. And i want them to grow deep. And green. Lord, let me bear much fruit.

Anak Siapa by Mia Palencia

 

Where do you come from?

Or did you forget?

Is it where the sun rises or there where it sets?

I’ve got a feeling you don’t know.

I’ve got a feeling you don’t know.

 

Who is your father and the one before him?

If you know who they are then why did you change your name?

I’ve got a feeling you don’t know.

I’ve got a feeling you don’t know.

 

Have we forgotten or are we ashamed?

Did we give it all up as the price of our fame?

Did we murder our roots just to wander afar?

You know our wounds are still fresh or you’ll notice our scars.

Do you know whose child you are?

Do you know whose child you are?

 

Is the grass you saw greener over there on that side?

While the good people back here fight to keep the colors alive.

I’ve got a feeling you don’t know.

I’ve got a feeling you don’t know.

 

Have we forgotten or are we ashamed?

Did we give it all up as the price of our fame?

Did we murder our roots just to wander afar?

You know our wounds are still fresh or you’ll notice our scars.

Do you know whose child you are?

Do you know whose child you are?

 

I’m my daddy’s girl,

I’m my momma’s girl,

Saya anak ibu,

Saya anak bapakku.

 

I’ve got a feeling you don’t know.

I’ve got a feeling you don’t know.

Have we forgotten or are we ashamed?

Did we give it all up as the price of our fame?

Did we murder our roots just to wander afar?

You know our wounds are still fresh or you’ll notice our scars

Do you know whose child you are?

Do you know whose child you are?

Kamu ini anak siapa?

Kamu ini anak siapa?

 

Saya ini anak orang kita. 

 

I’m trying to do what i can. With the resources i have and the time i can give. God, what else?

:: your hand in mine ::

I really despise gloomy days. Like today. *looks at the sky and sulks*

Cause only days like these that i’ll remember.

Your hand it fits
Perfect in mine
The world has stopped
And so has time

Cause we’re so in love
We’re so in love
We’re so in love

Ooooh… 

City lights cloudy skies
Slow dance in the rain
Won’t forget how it sounds
When you say my name

So we save the best
For last tonight
A simple hug and kiss goodnight
As all of the angels sing our song
Heaven and earth join to sing along

And we’re so in love
And we’re so in love
And we’re so in love

I’m turning the tables
I’m changing the time
I’ll do anything just to keep you mine
You’re one of the angels yeah it’s true
I’m standing in heaven when I’m with you

I love the way that you say my name
I love the way that you hold my hand

– “So In Love” by The Icarus Account –

You haven’t said my name in awhile. 

I’ll forget. Eventually.

:: somebody ::

So, i’ve given up on this. No point struggling. Especially if i’m the only one that wanted it to work. Yes, I’m angry at you. But, no. It wasn’t fair to ME. Not us. 

Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
Part of me believing it was always something that I’d done
But I don’t wanna live that way
Reading into every word you say
You said that you could let it go
And I wouldn’t catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know

Now you’re just somebody that i used to know. Circa 2007. Funny how history repeats itself. Funnier still if you never learnt your lesson.

Ellie, stop being a doormat. 

:: feel like singing ::

Ah, spending a quiet CNY’s eve in my room after a good family dinner and lots of TV. Caught like, 2 episodes of Glee (i actually like it!) and a bit of 27 Dresses (again!)

AND, this has been ages too, but i caught American Idol! I don’t know what season we’re in now but WOW, some amazing talents we have there!

After watching that AND Glee, i’m totally inspired to wanna…sing. Haha. And oh, how i wish i could play the guitar. One of the items in my to-do lists for this year? Hrm.

*Love* this song! If i could perform this one day, i would.

Oooh. I hear fireworks!! Happy Chinese New Year, everyone! :)

*****

You set it again, my heart’s in motion…every word feels like a shooting star. I’m at the edge of my emotions, watching the shadows burning in the dark. And i’m in love. And i’m terrified. For the first time and the last time…in my only life. – Kara Dioguardi & Jason Reeves

:)

:: earth turns slowly ::

This whole week…flew by, without me knowing. Funny how 2010 starts off…’busy’. Work. And more work. Lol! It’s nice having things to do. I never did like being idle but…i’m appreciating the breather tonight. Staying home and filling my calendar with important dates. Thoughts of the day : 2010 is gonna be amazing.

I wanted to write a proper new year blogpost. And i stopped myself for some reason. Guess only You know the plans You have for me this year :)

I have ONE new year resolution though! And that is : To be fully present wherever i am and whoever i’m with. Am inspired once again by Tuesdays with Morrie, on how he dealt and connected with people. And i wanna do that. I find myself daydreaming too often. And i WANT to be fully present.

*****

I’m addicted to Fireflies by Owl City. Overplayed, yes. But as of now, it’s an earworm  i can’t get rid of.

I’d like to make myself believe…that planet Earth turns slowly. It’s hard to say that i’d rather stay awake, when i’m asleep. Because my dreams are bursting at the seams.

I find myself being more guarded than before. Give me time. Maybe i’ll be more ‘fun’ as i learn the art of being fully present. I want to be able to feel like i have something to offer. And perhaps when i learn that, flowing with everyone else should be much easier.

I hope.

*****

I’d love to watch ten million fireflies. Sit on a swing. Wear a flowy green dress. And run barefooted. I feel liberated, just even imagining that i could do all these things. And i think of You. Oh, i love.

:: songs from the jiwang kingdom ::

I listened to the entire album as i got lost in The Curve area. Surprise surprise. I’m totally hopeless with directions. But it was worth it tho. Going all the way to The Curve, fulfilling a promise to Mia AND the AYA Choir (sorry for not being able to meet up and hang out!). But ‘songs from the jiwang kingdom’ was totally apt in moments of ‘lost direction’.

I must say, i love the album! It was heartfelt and of course, knowing how much effort and love was put into this, i thought this is Mia’s best yet. Jun’s bits of magic with the electric is AMAZING. Oh, and i just have to say this (and it’s a compliment), Mia AND her band last night are the best people to watch LIVE. I was just in awe.

The entire album is listen-worthy but my current favourite has to be ‘Percaya’. It’s beautiful. I imagine being on a field watching the sunset…with you. And this song would’ve played :) Another favourite is ‘The Tender Hour’. Okay fine. So maybe *i* feel jiwang right now. But i like ok. I wish i could write songs like she does. Mm.

Thank you, Mia, for sharing your beautiful voice with Malaysia. And soon, with the world ;) You inspire me, with your spirit and talent. Those who know their God will do GREAT exploits! My best wishes to you as you venture to Aussie-land! *hugs* It’s been an honor to know and learn from you! Much love.

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Mia and i and her spotlight cap :D *laughs*

:: begin again ::

Watched ‘500 Days Of Summer’ after all the hype by BenJi.

I quite enjoyed the movie. I say quite…only because i didn’t quite like the girl. She can’t possibly be representing half of the world human species. I’d be greatly insulted. One does not seduce a man…do everything possible (before marriage), create beautiful memories with a man she KNOWS feels more for her than she does for him….and then says, “You’re still my best friend”.

Dudeeeee, that’s wrong. And terribly misleading. I feel for you guys, should you have…similar experiences. Encouragement : God is into second chances :) And, these sorta girls are…exceptions. Not the general rule, i hope.

But the movie was beautiful. I enjoyed how they shot it, moving backwards and forwards. Sorta reminds me of the way we think sometimes when it comes to relationships, doesn’t it? You think about the future when you’re with ’em. And then, you think about the past when it’s over. Non-linear thinking, indeed.

Despite it being that way, it was easy to understand. Loved the black and white bits. The ‘expectations’ and ‘reality’ bit. The random musical dance bit.

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And of course, Zooey Deschanel’s clothes are AWESOME. I’m totally into collared dresses with sash now. Oh, so vintage. I’m gonna go get one. Whee :D Oh, and the soundtrack’s pretty awesome too. The Smiths, Hall & Oates and Temper Trap? Yeah, baby. And the fact that they had ‘Please, please, let me get what i want’ playing (previously played in ‘Never Been Kissed’ prom king & queen dance moment)…that got me.

I love soundtracks. So sue me.

So yes, i *quite* liked the movie. It’s prolly up your street too :)

***********************************************************************

On a random note, I’m totally into Colbie Caillat’s “Begin Again”. Such a happy song. Okay, so the lyrics are not too happy. But, the happy tune! It sticks in your head. The contrast makes it interesting. Not so happy lyrics + happy tune = happy ME!

Oh this is not the way that it should end
It’s the way it should begin
It’s the way it should begin, again
No – I never wanna fall apart
Never wanna break your heart
Never wanna let you break my own
Yes – I now we said a lot of things
That we probably didn’t mean
But it’s not to late to take them back
So before you say you gonna go
I should probably let you know
I never knew what I had
I never knew what I had.

Yes, i’m kinda weird that way.