:: pengsan ::

Was so annoyed with someone for messing up my spreadsheet, i wrote a song.

Posting this just for the record. Sing to the tune of Zee Avi’s “Kantoi”.

Satu pagi i busy buat kerja

Bila i check spreadsheet

Semacam jadi gila

Apesal ada filter mana-mana

Kalau boleh, i nak filter you punya kepala!

Selepas i repair you punya kerja

I busy pergi meeting lama-lama

Bila balik, tengok lagi sudah sama,

You repeat kerja you buat dengan sengaja.

I frust marah macam nak gila

Telefon dah la takde juice-nya

Kalau ada, dah lama aku jerit ya

Memang cekik darah you punya nama.


Lol. Sigh. Some people just do things at the wrong time. Maybe for the right reason, but still!!

| letting go |

Ah, am totally refreshed by the new album by Steffany Gretzinger. So beautiful!

EXACTLY what i need right now. 

You’ve brought me to the end of myself

And this is has been the longest road

Just when my hallelujah was tired, 

You gave me a new song.

Now i’m letting go…

I’m letting go…

I’m letting go…

Falling into You.

– Letting Go-

:) To be able to write so, I’m wanting. 

God give me the words. 

And that’s how You won me. <3

:: awake ::

“I heard what you said. I’m not the silly romantic you think. I don’t want the heavens or the shooting stars. I don’t want gemstones or gold. I have those things already. I want…a steady hand. A kind soul. I want to fall asleep, and wake, knowing my heart is safe. I want to love, and be loved.” ―Shana Abe

My love for words can’t be explained sometimes :)

:: finding you ::

Once upon a time, there was a girl who was in a quest of finding.

She walked a million miles. Looking for something. Whether it was a thing, a person, or a feeling, she didn’t know.

She just walked and walked. It seemed never-ending. But something spurred her to keep going.

It seemed, if she kept walking, she’d eventually reach somewhere. And she knows at that “somewhere”, she’d find what she’d be looking for.

One day, she stopped. She looked. And she wept.

She had found what she was looking for. Only, she was back to where she started from.

Moral of the story : Sometimes, what you’re looking for, is where you’re at.


Alice came to a fork in the road. “Which road do I take?” she asked.
“Where do you want to go?” responded the Cheshire cat.
“I don’t know,” Alice answered.
“Then,” said the cat, “it doesn’t matter.”

-Lewis Carroll-Alice In Wonderland-

Yes, this is a random short story i wrote. I digress.

:: a place called here ::

“I can only assume that there’s only one thing more frustrating than not being able to find someone, and that’s not being found. I would want someone to find me, more than anything.” – A Place Called Here, Cecelia Ahern

Frustrating, indeed.

“We all get lost once in a while, sometimes by choice, sometimes due to forces beyond our control. When we learn what it is our soul needs to learn, the path presents itself. Sometimes we see the way out but wander further and deeper despite ourselves; the fear, the anger or the sadness preventing us returning. Sometimes we prefer to be lost and wandering, sometimes it’s easier. Sometimes we find our own way out. But regardless, always, we are found.” – A Place Called Here, Cecelia Ahern

I don’t want to fall. *tiredly*

Ah, God, i’m getting restless. Wouldn’t it be easier if…?

It seemed that it could’ve been true,
The very essence of the what’s and who’s,
I do so like,
The idea of you.

-The Idea Of You-Ellie-

Perhaps not.


The MacBook Air is really pretty. And oh-so-light. But the MacBook more power. And cheaper. Hrm. Temptations.

:: cluttered ::

I dunno why i broke down. Perhaps i needed mending. Perhaps i lost a screw. Perhaps i lost *me* for a few minutes. I’m sorry i left abruptly. I feel terribly embarassed now. You may laugh, judge. Whatever.

I felt “lonely amidst the crowd”.

Then again, i prolly shouldn’t have been there in the first place.

So heavy hearted, i long to feel Your peace
My mind’s so cluttered, i need You to free me
Your word sets the captives free
i hear and read but not do
is it any wonder why i’m back to where i started?

I hear You calling me gently
And I return to You.
Return to You…

So caught up with the world, i long to feel belonged,
My paths have been vague, i need You to guide me on,
Your word sets the captives free
i hear and read but not do
is it any wonder why i’m back to where i started?

I hear You calling me gently
And I return to You.
Return to You…

I return to You
As I’m broken,
Feeling powerless,
I return to You,
Cause You’re able,
And You’re my God
And i need You.

-Return To You-Ellie-

Focus, Ellie, focus. There are things to do. Your mess to clear.

:: undefinable ::

I have an urge to write. Have so many thoughts up in my head that just needs to be put on paper. Or somewhere. Anywhere.

But i’m clouded.

“You must want to.”

But it’s so hard.

“Trust Me.”

I do.

“Listen…and write.”

Rise up, all you people of the faith,

Rise up, don’t you worry bout the haste,

It’s time…to celebrate!

It’s not time….to play it safe!

Rise up, all you people who believe,

Rise up, don’t you know how to live,

It’s time…to celebrate!

It’s not time…to play it safe!

He is Jesus…the God of all…

He is Jesus…He’s so much more…

He came to die for me…He came to set me free…

He is Jesus…Prince of Peace…

He is Jesus…I believe…

His Word is the Life…His Life, the sacrifice…

I believe, i believe.

-I Believe-Ellie-